Emotional Intelligence, Part 1: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Emotional Intelligence, Part 1: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself


That’s how I feel having reviewed my notes reflecting on the EQ/Emotional Intelligence STUDY GROUP hosted by our very own #Momentum Maker: Stephen Collins.

What IS EQ?

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in an effective and positive way.

The benefits of knowing (and growing) EQ are many…and great. A high EQ helps individuals to communicate better, reduce their anxiety and stress, defuse conflicts, improve relationships, empathize with others, and effectively overcome life’s challenges.

This was the FIRST of three sessions (click here to join August 7th, and here to join August 14th).

For an hour, Stephen led us through a session titled, “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.” GET MOMENTUM Reader’s Club members from around the world attended via our virtual reading room. The feedback is positive!

Of course, Jodi and I were there for the full hour; we didn’t want to miss any of the fun…or the learning! As intently as I listened, my notebook pages kept filling up with ideas, ah-has and some “I’m gonna’s.”

There were three main themes I focused on during the discussion:

2. Look for what’s inspiring to THEM.
3. Defining a friend as different from someone who is friendly


Those of you who’ve read our book Get Momentum or every spent time with us in a workshop or on the phone KNOW how different we are from one another. I loved how one of our GET MOMENTUM Leadership Academy members introduced us during a workshop we facilitated for leaders at her company:

“Next, I want to introduce my coaches. I work with them both – on different skills – because they are different. Jason’s the straight arrow. Jodi’s the gentle wave.”

On any Personality Assessment we’ve ever taken, we score the opposite in nearly every category. For example, in the Meyer’s Briggs, I’m the E (Extrovert) and Jodi’s the I (Introvert). If you haven’t taken one of the personality assessments lately – and had your team/family take it with you – make that your homework this quarter. Ones we can recommend:

StrengthsFinder 2.0 and the KOLBE. When you know who and how you are, and when you learn that other people are different from you in their own way, it makes it easier to work better together. It makes it easier to be more emotionally intelligent.

As an Adjunct Faculty professor at Air University, US Air Force at Maxwell Air Force Base, I co-teach a course titled: “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself.” The more you study want it takes to make you…you, the more understanding you an bring to the table when you work with the people you serve.

2. Look (out) for what’s inspiring to THEM.

Oftentimes, leaders want to do things to “BUILD THEIR TEAMS.” You’ve probably been on one of these kinds of tours. Maybe a dinner out. Maybe pizza brought in. Or, driving race cars. Or, attending a sports game. Or…

Here’s the deal…

…you probably did what the leader likes to do.

If you want to maximize the engagement of those on your team (and this goes for work just as much as it does at home) see if you can find out what THEY like to do. If you get a chance, and want to hear more about this, book some time with Jodi and have her tell you about the time her group wanted her to join them for a baseball game!

3. A friend = different from someone who is friendly.

Ask yourself “How do I feel?” after spending time with that person. In one of the Course Work activities, Jodi talks about this way she has of monitoring the engagement she wants to continue having with the people that she knows. Not only that, she authored a BONUS Course on this topic of building your network/team LONG before you need it. LINK HERE.

  • Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection
  • Friendly: kind and pleasant

When you think of those two words, consider who you’d put on the least of each. Then, decide where to spend more time.

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