3 Tools for Communicating with Children (and people acting like children)

3 Tools for Communicating with Children (and people acting like children)

Jodi (CEO of Get Momentum) interviewed Debbie Godfrey, a good friend and Parenting Expert to discuss 3 Communication Tools to help you to communicate better by:

(1) overcoming power struggles
(2) rebuilding trust and
(3) cleaning up toxic environments full of hurt and meanness.

Whether you’re struggling with children (or people acting like children), watch their 15 minute video interview to get the tools you need to improve the quality of relationships today.

(click on the image above to start the video)

Show Notes:


Power struggles come from people feeling out of control and without power. Consider Debbie’s contradictory advice. Ask yourself:

How do I give this person MORE power right now?

By creating an area that the person has control over, you’ll build your relationship and their self-esteem.

Note: Rules without Relationships = Rebellion

2.  Create GEMs  every day!

How do you build trust and build up the relationship along the way?

G.E.M. = Genuine Encounter Moments.

This means you give 100% of your focused attention to the person for the duration of the conversation. Make eye contact. Sit with the person. Approximately 30 seconds to 3 minutes. Once a day, everyday.  At least 1 GEM per person per day. This means you’re not on the phone, texting, emailing or any other activity during your GEM. Prioritize communicating with children. Invest in the relationship. Build the trust, credibility, listening skills and rapport along the way. Keep your word!

Note: If you say you’ll talk in 10 minutes, (set an alarm – that’s my tip!) and be on time for them.


3. Beware: the Goal of Revenge.

When people are hurt and want to hurt you back. When kids say, “You’re mean. I don’t like you. I hate you.” They’re hurt and trying to make you feel the same way. This person is discouraged. The only way he’s getting needs met is to make you feel the same kind of pain. *Postpone discipline and corrective measures.* It’s time to connect and rebuild the trust in the relationship. Give 100% attention, see the world through their eyes.

Note: Mind Trust Agreement

Deal with the person you’re having an issue with directly. Don’t gossip. Don’t talk behind their back. Commit to the Agreement to build the integrity of the relationship.


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4 thoughts on “3 Tools for Communicating with Children (and people acting like children)

  1. Great interview with Debbie! I’ll definitely check out her website. We have 6 kids ages 3 to 18 and the biggest issue we’re trying to solve right now is the chaos. While we recognize some chaos is just a way of life with children, too much is toxic. There’s just too much of the name calling, hitting, yelling, saying hateful stuff, etc…Get’s tiring some days and we recognize there’s an answer somewhere. I like the GEM concept. I’ve done this recently to deflect an hour-long tantrum our 3-year old was heading down. I dropped everything and gave him my full attention for about 5 to 10 minutes – played with some blocks with him, he rode on my back, etc.. After that he was fine. But had I not done that, it would’ve gone on for a long time. So I’ll keep the GEM concept in mind more and will definitely check out your website and webinars. Have a nice week!


  2. Oh Keith, that’s so great to hear that you’ve got that instinct to give full 100% attention. I can’t even imagine what chaos with a house of 6 kids even means!!! I’ve listened in on one of Debbie’s free calls and she’s got great support. Good luck!

  3. Great interview Debbie and Jodi! I already know how to apply this at home. I guess I’m blessed to already have great clients where this kind of power struggle isn’t an issue. 😉 Jason must be a master at GEMs because whenever I talk with him, that’s exactly how I feel. 100% Attention.

  4. This is fantastic, I’m saving it for future reference 🙂 I love how you apply these positive parenting concepts to work environments. There really is a lot more correlation between our personal and professional lives than we typically give credence.

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