(1) overcoming power struggles
(2) rebuilding trust and
(3) cleaning up toxic environments full of hurt and meanness.
Whether you’re struggling with children (or people acting like children), watch their 15 minute video interview to get the tools you need to improve the quality of relationships today.
(click on the image above to start the video)
1. POWER STRUGGLES
Power struggles come from people feeling out of control and without power. Consider Debbie’s contradictory advice. Ask yourself:
“How do I give this person MORE power right now?“
By creating an area that the person has control over, you’ll build your relationship and their self-esteem.
Note: Rules without Relationships = Rebellion
2. Create GEMs every day!
How do you build trust and build up the relationship along the way?
G.E.M. = Genuine Encounter Moments.
This means you give 100% of your focused attention to the person for the duration of the conversation. Make eye contact. Sit with the person. Approximately 30 seconds to 3 minutes. Once a day, everyday. At least 1 GEM per person per day. This means you’re not on the phone, texting, emailing or any other activity during your GEM. Prioritize communicating with children. Invest in the relationship. Build the trust, credibility, listening skills and rapport along the way. Keep your word!
Note: If you say you’ll talk in 10 minutes, (set an alarm – that’s my tip!) and be on time for them.
3. Beware: the Goal of Revenge.
When people are hurt and want to hurt you back. When kids say, “You’re mean. I don’t like you. I hate you.” They’re hurt and trying to make you feel the same way. This person is discouraged. The only way he’s getting needs met is to make you feel the same kind of pain. *Postpone discipline and corrective measures.* It’s time to connect and rebuild the trust in the relationship. Give 100% attention, see the world through their eyes.
Note: Mind Trust Agreement
Deal with the person you’re having an issue with directly. Don’t gossip. Don’t talk behind their back. Commit to the Agreement to build the integrity of the relationship.
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